Belfast

Give Ireland back to the Irish, don’t make them have to take it away…In 1969 Belfast, little 9 year old Buddy is learning about The Troubles, up close and personal and trying to understand why it should make a difference, if you’re Protestant or Catholic.  His Ma is raising him and his brother (he actually has two brothers) while Da is in off the island working in London and coming home every two weeks to reconnect with family, Pa and Grannie.  Although not ideal, things are going along swimmingly until the Molatov’s start to fly, the neighborhood is walled off and everybody is living each day gingerly and with extreme prejudice. 

This semi-autobiographical film shows a small peek at Director/Writer Kenneth Branagh’s up-bringing pre-everything, because he’s a little kid, Protestant and has a big old crush on a little girl who just happens to be Catholic.  He’s normal and gets into his own troubles when he takes the wrong advice.  Grannie and Pop are there to share the wisdom of their years and it’s really too bad, but if more people actually listened to their elders, we might not have things happen like The Troubles or even what’s happening in Eastern Europe now. 

To this writer, war, of any sort, is unnecessary, especially religious “wars”.  You vill not be allowed freedom of speech, thought, or breath in the name of God, but only my God, not yours.  Here’s a challenge, explain what’s right about that to a kid.  Bet you can’t.  so there you have it…an Irish kid who moves to England, grows up to be proper English, play the likes of a Wizard, a Belgian Detective, a King, a Danish Prince, and an award winning director/writer/actor who should have gone up on stage and slapped Will Smith for making one of the worst movies ever, hint – The Wild, Wild, West.  Rating:  3 Shamrocks and pint.

Dune

So I could do one-liners for days in regards to this epic undertaking, here’s a few:  “Duned, we’re duned I tell you”, “Spice, don’t it make my brown eyes blue”, “What’s a nice girl like you, doing in a place like this and is that a ceremonial dagger in your hand or are you just glad to see me?”, “Don’t talk about my mother, she’s not a witch, she’s a Benedict Sazerac or something like that, I don’t speak Ferenghi”, “If only I could tell what you’re thinking…oh yea, I can”, “care to take a dip in my oil fountain, it’s so relaxing and gloppy”, “nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I summon a big-ass worm”, “when I come out of this big vat of stuff I’ll be a beautiful butterfly, or not, but I’ll get a rise out of the experience”. 

Okay, here’s what I really think of Dune.  Oscar Isaac is getting better and better with each role.  Jennifer Ferguson is almost too young to be Timothee Chalamet’s mother.  He’s 26, she’s 38, do the math, she’s a consort, not Sadie, Sadie, Married Lady, but she’s a good role model for the young heir apparent.  The issues in Dune are no different than the issues in the world today, only it’s on another planet with very greedy beings, I won’t say humans because they’re not.  I get an Avatar vibe with several characters who could easily transition to Star Wars or a Lord of the Rings in Outer Space series just like the melding of Marvel Comics and the Avengers.  Little bit of Thor, The Fifth Element and a dollop of Lawrence of Arabia.  Oh, and his mom is a Bene Gesserit, whatever that is/was in Frank Herbert’s mind.  They have the coolest dragonfly helicopters.   In any case, looking forward to the continuation as we’ve only briefly covered the base of the book, we haven’t even come close to the Ridem’ Cow Cat moments in the first film.  Rating:  Kyle McLaughlin, Sean Young, Jose Ferrer, and Sting – Four stars in a three star solar system.  Yi-hah.    

Don't Look Up

Armageddon lite with a bit of Walle and a skosh of every space disaster film you’ve ever seen. It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine, but seriously. How in the actual heck did this get nominated for Best Picture? What is up people? Ran out of ideas on how to destroy the world and include the former administration and a reasonable facsimile of he who shall not be named and his little dog (I mean, son), too. I think QAnon may be using this script as a guide. That’s scary and the thought that you can make people drink the purple Kool-Aid is one of those things I don’t ever want to experience again. Overall, I would say the best was left for last, so if you don’t mind waiting for the punchline, we have your winner, winner, last chicken dinner. Rating: Fox News, minus the truth.

 

King Richard

 So now that the Oscars for this are over and “King” Will has made his claim as Best Actor, I’m going to address the elephant in the room.  What The Actual “F….”.  As a film, I understand what Mr. Williams was trying to achieve with his 78 page plan to make his daughters the best of the best in the tennis world.  He could have chosen any sport, actually, and used his method to make them champions, and apparently the results would have been the same for Serena and Venus.  This writer, however, was a bit tired when I started watching and basically fell into a dead sleep, which I rarely do, and woke up about five minutes before it was over.  The performance by Mr. Smith could have been on the level of Olivier giving the “Poor Yorick…” speech in Hamlet, and it wouldn’t have made a difference to me.  So that being said, I’m giving this a Rating of:  Love All, Set. 

Power of the Dog

 Two brothers, George and Phil Burbank, travel across Montana in 1923 on a cattle drive.  They’ve taken this trip several times and stop at the same boarding house toward the end of their run.  The house is run by a widow, Rose, and her son, Peter, who is going to be a doctor like his dearly departed father.  This trip is a bit different, as shortly after arriving this time, the bachelor cowboys split-up and their family dynamic is changed exponentially when the widow marries George.  Brother Phil is what a friend of mine would have called an “odd duck”.  As the film moves along, we get to understand why he’s that way and what he’s really all about when it comes to life on the old range.  He gives a new meaning to breaking bucking broncos and being a bully.  Rose (Kirsten Dunst) is caught in the middle being one, a woman, two, a mother, and three, a newlywed who is a perceived threat to old Uncle Phil.  It’s an absolutely beautiful performance by an actress who is finally given a role that lets her stretch her dramatic chops.  Kodi Smith-McPhee as Peter is creepy, subtle, and cast as the lamb being “led to the slaughter”, he balances perfectly against Benedict Cumberbatch’s Uncle Phil.  I will only watch this once, even though it was a Best Picture nominee.  For all the hype, it is an extremely uncomfortable family film with absolutely stunning scenery.  Rating:  He wore white boots, pink shoelaces, a ten gallon hat and man o’ man.    

 

Licorice Pizza

If I had my druthers, I would have renamed this film “Fat Bernies”.  Licorice Pizza is a record store to my mind, but that’s because I was in my 20’s during 9/10th’s of the ‘70s in California and I remember what it was like to be an awkward adult. I still feel like an awkward adult sometimes, but I’m getting better at this now that I’m getting closer to my life goals.  Hair-brained, money-making schemes abound.  26 year old women do not get or should I say, should not get involved with guys who have the maturity of a raging hormone.  Our heroine, Alana, is a total 70’s girl from the spilt down the middle super straight hairstyle to her halter tops and the fringe on her bell-bottoms.  I know this earned a Best Picture nomination, but I’m still scratching my head wondering why.  I wasn’t convinced of anything, least of all what the point was.  Maybe it’s just me…nah, it sort of lacked a real direction and I found my mind wandering (always a bad sign for a film).  I really wanted to love this film, too, but it just boogied on down the Ventura Highway and off into the sunset backwards in a moving van (incredible driving scene, on the level of Bullitt, but much slower and not as cool of a vehicle.)  Rating:  a cold waterbed, Puka Beads, if you’re looking for a deal – Go See Cal.

Cruella

What a delightfully skewered look at both the fashion industry and a beloved children’s story and how our perceptions are turned completely upside-down and wrapped in dots.  Estella (Emma Stone) is an unusual girl who can, with a flick of a pencil and a snip of the pinking shears, turn literal trash into divine.  It’s almost like she’s Malificent with a sewing machine, only she’s not magical, just, very self-relient.  There’s a reason this film won Best Costume and it’s because it’s literally about the fashion industry combined with the Devil Wears Prada and revenge (well, that would make it the fashion industry, I guess).  The music’s not bad, either.  I’ve always said, when I get my opportunity to travel to London, I’m heading to Carnaby Street, the land of Twiggy and Jean Shrimpton.  How much is that doggy in the window?  The one that’s heisting a rock the size of walnut? Love, love, love this film, the two Emmas, and supporting cast.  Rating:  Chanel, Armani, Gucci, House of DeVil.