Barbie

This afternoon, I saw a film that really surprised me and from the title, you know which one it was.  I’m from the first generation who, if my brother hadn’t gotten his paws on her and gave her a literal lobotomy, would have kept her safely tucked away until now and put a down payment on my own Barbie Dreamhome.  I had the Titian ponytailed Barbie, and two years later, with my own money, saved up from my beer and pop bottle ditch recycling program, bought her best friend, Titian haired Midge.  I wanted the whole nine yards, but settled for patterns to make outfits instead.  My sister, who’s 6 years older than me and was the Martha Stewart of Mt. Baker High School, made doll clothes, among other outfits, she made a Barbie sized copy of her prom dress, white sleeveless tulle and black chantilly lace.  I think, hope that my niece still has it.  

What does all this blather have to do with my opinion of Barbie, the movie?  Everything.  When you’re a little girl, especially a little girl who has low self esteem due to peer pressure, sibling rivalry, you haven’t hit puberty, your life is basically that of a doll and you can project through the Princess of pink what you would imagine it would be like if you were in her shoes.  She has a “perfect body”, hair, life with absolutely no worries, all the opportunities to be anything she wants to be, no restrictions, just what comes in a package and imagination.  Barbie also has a built in boyfriend/fiancé, Ken.  He’s Prince Charming for all intents, but what is he prince of?  Then there’s Allan, Midge’s boyfriend and as years progressed, Midge and Allan became the Adam and Eve of Barbieworld and the population increased, new Barbies were introduced and the whole place became evermore international and diverse.  The soundtrack gives a lot of incite to the emotions of the dolls and their plastic fantastic world.  I would have added Beyoncé’s Who Runs The World. 

So after seeing all the blowback from the girlie men who are threatened by the message that’s as clear as the B on the Barbie logo, I can only say, get a grip.  Dolls are the ways we pretend, imagine, dream without judgement.  Yes, you can be anything you want to be.  You’re not limited any more than a man.  In fact, you can procreate, try that on your own Ken, G.I. Joe, Stretch Armstrong.  What boggles my mind is that when the difference between men and women is shown to real live human beings, they loose their minds that we’re capable beings on this planet and without us, there wouldn’t be anyone.  

 Not a “kids” film, hence the PG13 rating.  Yes, the temptation to bring your little princess to the film is going to be strong, but it helps if you understand that this deals with subjects that most kids aren’t mature enough to fully comprehend and would be well advised to let them play and be kids as long as they can.  Adolescence is over in the blink of an eye.  Rating: perfect, perfect can be a rating, and it doesn’t need to be man’splained, love this film, when’s Barbie II?

Wonka

If I had to choose between the three film interpretations of Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I’d have to say for story itself, I choose the Gene Wilder classic.  For pure imagination and the warm uplifting comfort feeling you get after having the best cuppa chocolate ever…Wonka.  It’s a new story using the book as a character base and expanding on the principles of setting positive goals, kindness, working together and being a part of the community/family.  It’s, to put it succinctly, fun.  It has danger, mystery, silliness, magic, love, and hope.  It’s visually stunning, a fantasy, but oddly believable.  Timothee Chalamet fills in all the checkmarks—sings, dances, acrobatic, and he can act (I believed he was Willie Wonka, just as I did when Gene Wilder played him so many years ago).  Rating:  4 stars. An ever loving gobstopper of a film, can’t wait to own it.

Hurray, hurray, it's Academy Awards Day....2023

 And the Oscar goes to:  

Yes, I wait all year for this one day because, hey, I'm single, without family (immediate or ones that really give a rip--screenplay in the works) or a partner, and the only time I get to indulge my love of film instead of Anniversaries, Mother's Day, Grandparent's Day, etc. is today.  So, I've covered the all of the Best Picture Nominations for the this year, printed ballots, and Oscar Bingo Cards, set the recorder for 5 p.m. on ABC, made snacks, packed my cocktails to go, a great pair of comfy pajamas (think bunnies or sock monkeys) and I'm off like a prom dress to spending the evening with my pals. Cheers to the winners, the nominees, and those who scored a seat at the show.  Hopefully, it won't be a bumpy ride like last time, mud won't be flung tonight.  

Women Talking

Knowing very little about the way of life in a Mennonite colony, I was a bit surprised at how suppressed women are kept in order to follow their faith.  The whole community is balancing on a sword of Damocles.   Not every man is a monster, but no one can blame these women for taking the action they need to in order to keep safe, sane, and actually live without fear.  Based on a horrific incident that occurred in a colony in Bolivia, the girls, some as young as 5, and women as old as 65, have been attacked, raped, impregnated, beaten, mutilated and traumatized.  One of the men has been identified and taken to the local jail where he starts naming names of the others, the men; in order to free him, leave the colony to bail him out.  The women are given 24 hours to make a decision regarding what they want to do before they return to the colony and life starts up again.  Since they are unable to read, the only man with any say is August, who has an embattled history with the colony, returning after attending university in the “real” world to teach the boys, as they are the only ones allowed to be schooled.  It’s similar to life in Afghanistan or Iran or anywhere that the Taliban or ISIS is in control, but remember that this happens here, and it’s done in the name of the Lord, fun, huh.  August takes the minutes of their discussion and is trusted to document their dilemma.  The women have three choices, stay as if nothing occurred, stay and fight, or leave the colony and, per their faith, be denied entrance into the Kingdom of Heaven.  There are so many strong performances here; it’s difficult, at best, to single anyone out.  Through flashbacks we get to know these women and hope that they will be free at last, free at last, great God all mighty, free at last.  Kudos to the director, Sarah Polley, she gets an A+ for her work.  Rating:  Horror, Heartbreak, and Hope.    

All Quiet On The Western Front

This is the third remake of this “anti-war” epic which takes place during WWI and follows Paul and his friends from university to the Western Front with absolutely no clue when it comes to understanding what they’re actually signing up for.  It’s frighteningly accurate in showing the atrocities of seemingly endless fighting and the irony of thinking you’re safe, when, in reality, you’re only seconds away from the possibility of being blown to smithereens.   There are two stories going on simultaneously, one of the soldier who just wants to go home and the signing of the Armistice agreement.  The commonality is that in both cases, everything is fraught with peril.  It’s edge of your seat entertainment of the worst horror genre, reality.  This could have been set in any war and the outcome will always be the same, trauma, despair, PTSD, extreme violence, and the survival instinct pumped up to the nth degree.  Cinematography is absolutely gorgeous, the film is dubbed in English, it’s a long film and if you have an aversion to violence, I recommend you watch something like Puss In Boots:  The Last Wish.  At least there’s hope for Puss, not so much for Paul’s posse.  If you wish to compare this version to the two previous versions, I recommend you watch the shot by shot film at the following link:  https://www.imdb.com/video/vi3997942297/?ref_=vp_rv_ap_0    My rating is a howitzer, a luger, and a Goose, which translates to 2 stars.

Triangle of Sadness

If you know me, then you know I’m a picky eater.  I’ve had a few semi-exotic dishes over the years, but I’m safely in the category of “normal” for a Czech Scandinavian with very definite conservative tastes in food (no lutefisk, are you out of your mind?).  I’d make a lousy gourmet.  Keeping that in mind, never, never, never eat raw shellfish that you’re not sure of and especially not on a 250 million dollar luxury yacht in the middle of a tropical storm. 

The results of the level of absurdity seems over the top, however, I did have a bit of déjà vu from former experiences working for the non-monetarily challenged.  Each has their own interpretation of what makes them happy, what’s appropriate, and what they expect to receive in service.  The cast of characters are all abstracts of society/social network celebrity darlings, a nuevo riche technogeek (emphasis on geek), oligarchs, their wives and mistresses, and the “staff” (those who wait on the privileged) in a caste system that rivals most corporations from purser to housekeeping.  Guess who doesn’t get respect or well compensated.  At sea, the Captain is the boss and the crew is the only way you’re going to get back to the shore in one piece to continue living La Vida Loca.  Money can’t buy you happiness, safety, common sense, or survival skills…all of which are lacking here in abundance by the wealthy. 

I honestly only knew one of the actors, Woody Harrelson, in this three part story of a cruise gone awry.  It didn’t give me a desire to take a trip on a ship, a float on a boat, or even a dinghy in a blue lagoon.  You’ll laugh, you’ll gasp, and you may want to avert your attention during certain spontaneous scenes…it’s not a three hour tour on the Minnow with Gilligan and the Skipper, the Movie Star, the Millionaire and his wife, the Professor and Marianne.  It was sad to learn that the star, Charlbi Dean, passed away in August of last year before she could see her work and it may be that a sequel might be in the works.  In any case, Rating:  three jars of Nutella, a bottle of Pepto Bismal, all this and a bag of chips.

Best Picture Nominations - 2023 - 3 short, but on their way

7 Down and 3 to go...let's get to it because the "big show" Oscars 2023 will be here before you know it:

Best Picture

All Quiet on the Western Front (watching today, will post soon)

Avatar:  The Way of Water

In 2009, Avatar landed in the theaters as a totally new experience.  James Cameron's story of extreme prejudice, greed, and environmental genocide on the moon/planet Pandora, way into the future.  The big blue ones are back and this time, the Sully family has grown, there are new characters, new prejudices, a new product that is being "mined" and the landscape has changed from the forest to the seas.  This is visually stunning.  The realism is mind-blowing and at a whopping three hours and 15 minutes, you'll walk out wondering what's next and how can you top that?  It gives new meaning to "whale" watching.  Spoiler alert...I ain't giving you any spoiler alerts, just a rating...3.75 stars.

The Banshees of Inisherin

Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson are paired, once again (see In Bruges), set in the time of the Civil War, living on Inisherin off the West Coast of Ireland.  They have a routine, a rhythm that hits a decidedly sour note when their friendship is abruptly ended.  It's worse because they live on that small island and everybody knows your business.  I love all of the leads in this skewed tale of how to deal with rejection.  There is almost a refreshing originality to it, however, it's bizarre and sad and you just want to give everyone a hug and a pint and tell them if you just calm down and try to think with reason and respect, there wouldn't be any need to destroy a relationship.  Kudos to all and especially to Jenny the donkey.  Rating:  3.99 stars

Elvis

Every time I see a Baz Luhrman production, I expect it to have a certain cinematography slick sparkle about it.  It's in the costuming, the hairstyles, the background colors, the set designs, and a sort of surrealistic super reality.  Elvis doesn't disappoint, in fact, I think it's a borderline overachiever of the year, but hoo buddy, it captures "The King" from the Sun Records beginnings to the Las Vegas residency years with pinpoint accuracy. 

The soft and slimy underbelly is Colonel Tom Parker (Tom Hanks) who provides the narration and appears to be the stalwart friend to an impressionable and naive Elvis (Austin Butler).  He's one nasty piece of work and Hanks does a stellar job of reaching down to the bottom of Parker's cold and calculating heart to keep his "golden calf" from getting out of the corral.

Hopefully, Mr. Butler is more than a "one hit wonder".  It's an amazing performance, the music is classic, the costuming, hair, and make-up is dead-on, and if you close your eyes, you'd swear that the King still lives.  Rating:  It's one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and go cats go, and in the words of Carl Perkins...don't you step on my blue suede shoes.  Thankyou, thankyouverymuch! 

The Fabelmans

This writer was nearly born when this fablelized family, based on Stephen Spielberg's adolescence and interest in film, begins.  It helped immensely that Spielberg is the writer/director for such a personal story.  It's a study in how to focus and believe in yourself to attain happiness or a reasonable facsimile of with all the drama that comes with life whether it's in the 50's, 60's or the present.  Of the nominees, Michelle Williams has the honor of Best Actor and Judd Hirsch for Best Supporting Actor...I would have included Paul Dano, Seth Rogan, and, without question, even though she didn't have ton of screen time, Jeannie Berlin as Hadassah Fabelman.  But what do I know, I'm just here to recommend you either see the film or avoid it like the plague.  There are so many times during the film that are personally relatable.  Even though I'm not Jewish and I was raised on the West Coast, it's like going back and revisiting those things that made growing up then "free range" and definitely more hopeful than in the past few years where technology has made our imaginations into constant viewable images.  Loved the film, got farklempt, it deserves the nominations, thank you Mr. Spielberg and Mr. Kushner, now go see it.

Tar (yes I know there's supposed to be an accent over the a, but I can't get this post to cooperate)

Intellectual pomposity exudes from this film like hot tar (the roofing and paving type).  Cate Blanchett is Lydia Tar, a fictional conductor of the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra, who has developed a hard shell personality to combat the gender bias of her chosen profession.  She's tough as nails, overly confident, a bully, and generally, professionally intimidating, sort of a The Devil Wears Prada with the focus on the Devil.  She, Cate, commands the screen and delivers another genuinely flawless performance.  The film, however, does not make this something that would compel me to watch it over and over and over.  I love classical music, and especially watching orchestras and the several maestros that have conducted the Seattle Symphony live over the years.  The children's specials with Leonard Bernstein on the television, priceless.  If I had studied harder, I would have loved to have been a flutist or a concert pianist or even a conductor, myself.  Not to be, obviously, but those who do have the talent should definitely pursue their passions.  In this case the passions are not exactly about the music and like the protagonist, delivers an emotional beating on several levels.  It would have been great to see more of a complete performance from the orchestra.  Rating:  One encore, One standing ovation, and One fierce right hook (she fights like a girl).

Top Gun:  Maverick 

My first question is why?  The testosterone level of this film is enough to grow hair on the back of your hands while watching it.  I get it...I saw the first one and loved it, but it was a long, long time ago and I don't feel the need for speed.  Chemistry between the leads is practically non-existent and that's with all of the playas.  If you came to watch Maverick (Tom Cruise) repeat his smarminess, you were successful.  If you came to see something technologically insane in the air, on the sea, and virtually impossible to do unless you have the Force, Yoda, and R2D2 in the cockpit with you, then you've come to the right place.  For crying in the beer, please don't believe that just cause you live off base in San Diego, you'd ever be able to afford anything even close to what these people make in the military.  The houses are a kazillion dollars; you don't get to crash planes and sort of get to shrug it off as "oh well".  Total fantasy, and I guess that's what appeals to all the 15 and 16 year old little hormone riddled kids that haven't gotten a chance to go through boot camp, serve in the armpits of the world, or a real live war.  Rating:  Val Kilmer rocks and he didn't even say anything, Berlin's Take My Breath Away is one of the best songs ever, Meg Ryan and Kelly McGillis dodged missles by not being included in this high in the sky melodramatic piece 'o schlock.  Goodness gracious, your balls are on fire Mr. Cruise.

Triangle of Sadness (viewed, and review is pending, should be a drinking game) and Women Talking (have to view, doesn't look like a very "happy happy joy joy" sort of film, we'll see).

Okay, let's all go to the lobby to get ourselves a snack..