Bridesmaids

There are soooooo many people attending this wedding, top of the list, Maya Rudolph as Lilly, and Kristen Wiig as Annie, her BFF. They’re a little like the Lucy and Ethel of the 80’s generation. The premise—Lilly’s engaged and Annie is going to be the Maid of Honor. With that comes help with the planning process, you know, engagement party, meeting everyone in the wedding party—family and friends, dresses—both wedding and the ever lovely bridesmaid dress, venue, bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinner and making this all about the happy couple and their special day.

This film is a mish-mash of The Hangover for Women, My Best Friend’s Wedding, 27 Dresses, Bride Wars, and every buddy film ever made. It takes place in Milwaukie, the language is crude at times, the scenarios are borderline “out there” and a lot of the time, just plain over the top. If you’ve ever been a bridesmaid, which yours truly has on a few occasions, a lot of this is totally believable. It deserves another look because there’s so much going on, it’s impossible to catch everything the first time.

The supporting cast featuring Rose Byrne, Melissa McCarthy, Jessica St. Clair, Wendi McClendon-Covey, and what I believe is Jill Clayburgh’s last role, are very funny. In a very roundabout way, this really is what friendship is all about. Rating: 3.75 stars

Spanish Roses Have Thorns, Too!

Pirates of the Caribbean – On Stranger Tides

The fourth installment of this transformed Disney ride goes even farther than the other side of the world. Jack is back, Barbossa returns, and Jacks first mate – Gibbs, start out on a new adventure. My favorite fantasy creatures (I’ll give you a hint---they’re not named Ariel, but they’ve got a lot in common with her) are on hand and there are new characters stirring up the waters, both oceanic and emotionally. You may not have thought Cap’n Jack had much of a heart for anything other than gold, rum, and the Black Pearl (considering his treatment of women---pirates aren’t exactly known for their sensitivity), but we get to see a bit more of the man than the character this time. Ian McShane & Penelope Cruz are new additions. There’s definitely an opportunity to keep the franchise going forward and we’ll see what Disney & Bruckheimer have in mind to churn up the bright blue waters of the Caribbean. By the way, I viewed this in 3-D, a usual no-no for moi and I didn’t get even slightly seasick. Rating: 3.25 pieces of eight, arrrrh!

Thor (He-Man of the Universe--yeah baby)

Eight bazillion years ago in a galaxy, far, far away, the myths of the Norsepeople were born, or so we’re to believe. Chris Hemsworth is the new Marvel action hero. He’s picked up the gauntlet, or in this case, a really, really, really big hammer from Schwarzenegger, Reeves, Stallone, Ferrigno, and anyone else who’s built like a brick. Twists and turns and up and down the shoot from the land of Odin to New Mexico. Reminiscent of a bunch of sci-fi/fantasy films and screams sequel, almost from the moment we see Chris as super hunky Thor. Supporting cast, Natalie Portman, Kat Denning, Stellan Skarsgard, Anthony Hopkins, and Rene Russo, superb. Tom Hiddleston as Loki – absolutely spot on. I can see him down the road playing Johnny Weir in a bio-pic. Wonder if he can skate? No matter, he looks like la Weir’s brother, if he had one. No Queen soundtrack like Flash Gordon, not as cheesy, but will be a great double feature in the future. Rating: It’s hammer time – 3.2 strikes

Want To See Me Pull Le Lapin Out Of My Chapeau?

The Illusionist (2010)
Directed by Sylvain Chomet (Triplets of Belleville), we have a masterpiece of animated sleight of hand and heart based on a script by famed French director, Jacques Tati. Tatischeff is The Illusionist whom we meet performing his feats before motley groups of old ladies and children. He never makes it to the States and Ed Sullivan, although his skills are astounding. After he’s summarily replaced by an English rock and roll band (semi-reminiscent of The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, etcetera) our “hero” travels to Scotland where his talents make a large and effective impression on a girl named Alice. The relationship is bittersweet and overlooks their lives like the moors outside of Edinburgh. There is very little dialogue or decipherable language used throughout the film. More is said in gestures and expressions than ongoing monologues and conversations. This is an animated dramedy about relationships. It’s not computer generated, but simple and elegant at the same time and deserves more than a quick look. Rating: Une, Deux, Trois Stars

How Much Is That Elephant In The Window?

Water For Elephants
I read the book and was totally excited when I heard it was being transformed for film. The characters and story are a broad sketch of the book. The actors, most notably Messrs. Pattinson, Waltz, and Ms. Witherspoon receive my vote of confidence for pulling off a great star attraction. There may be a sucker born every minute, but I totally loved my evening at the circus. The attention to detail is amazing...kudo's to Jack Fisk. If this doesn't win Oscars for costume, set design, cinematography next year, I'd be doubly amazed. Rosie (Tai) is the world's smartest elephant and deserves an award for her performance. This isn't a real live version of "Dumbo" so it's not for the kids. If you love animals and have issues with animal cruelty, then this isn't the film for you, but realize, of course, it's acting. It's based on a real event, by the way. Rating: 4 Stars

HOP

A long, long time ago, about 56 years to be exact, this writer remembers waking up on Easter morning and going into the living room to find a basket full of chocolate, jelly beans, marshmallow eggs that turned your mouth blue, hot pink, purple, orange, red, green or yellow, and a molded bunny that looked suspiciously like Peter Rabbit. Besides feeling like I’d immediately developed juvenile diabetes after eating most of the marshmallow eggs, it was one of my favorite holidays. My sister and I would get dressed up in our new duds which included white gloves, a hat, and patent leather mary janes, go to church and then head home to a dinner or to a relative’s house in Sedro Woolley for an Easter Egg hunt with my cousins, a whole bunch of cousins. HOP brought back those memories in full force.

Our hero, E.B. (voiced by Russell Brand), is the son of the Easter Bunny and he has different ideas about his destiny, fame and fortune (cue the song “Bang On The Drum” by Todd Rundgren) instead of taking over the family business, you know, one night a year the Easter Bunny flies around the world delivering Easter eggs to all the children of the world, but he’s got chick power instead of reindeer. E.B. takes a powder from his responsibilities and heads to Hollywood to fulfill his dreams. In the path of his pursuit is one Fred O’Hare (James Marsden), his human counterpart. Fred has been out of work for a year, living at home with his folks and sisters…everyone is fed up and he’s sent packing to, of course, Beverly Hills. What ensues is funny, extremely colorful, and surprisingly, a satisfying comedy for both children and adults. Kids under the age of about 8, might not get the jokes and the “potty” humor is a bit twisted, but it’s well worth the time spent and you’ll never look at a jelly bean the same again. Rating 3 stars

Tangled up in purple, oh my, what big eyes you have

Tomorrow Tangled will be available in every format known to man, woman, beast, or child. I finally got to see this "soon to be a Disney classic" at the Crest $3 Cinema on a Saturday afternoon with a full house of kids and parents. It's a combination of Beauty & The Beast, The Little Mermaid, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Hercules and anything else with a princess, magical powers, wicked witch-like step-mom (foster mother by kidnapping), greedy thugs, and a handsome prince to save the day, the princess, whatever...oh, and don't forget the animal side-kick. Songs abound, evil is ever present, and the princess is clueless. She has a lot of hair, the "prince" is a thief ala Aladdinesque and the mighty steed is a force to be reckoned with on it's own. The horse isn't exactly on our "hero's" side either. Anyhow, you know the basic fairytale, Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your golden hair, the guy climbs up and he's supposed to save her. Twist this around, a lot, add music, and make every one of the female characters have eyes the size of saucers. That was, surprisingly, the only thing that I found rather unnerving. Every one of the females have "Bambi-eyes" and small facial features in comparison. It's not as bad as watching a Keane painting from the 60's come to life, but close. Anyway, sorry to put that image into your heads, but couldn't help it. I liked this film just because I like animated musicals, always have, always will, it's part of my upbringing. Disney doesn't let you down here and the kids will love it, but more, teens and adults. Rating: 3 stars