Hail Caesar

I was so looking forward to seeing this comedy by the Coen brothers and hoped, upon hope that this would be as good as something like O’ Brother Where for Art Thou?  Sadly, it was just “meh”.  The closest I could compare it to is Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid (a film I’ve yet to not fall asleep to, even in a theater—sorry Steve Martin…I just can’t keep my head up even though it was brilliantly edited with clips and actors from some of my favorite film noir classics).  I couldn’t really get past the bullet delivery and disjointed dialogue.  It’s sort of like waking up from a conk on the head similar to what the “hero”, although it’s hard to say who the “hero” really is here and understanding that he’s just screwed the pooch by becoming a part of the issue instead of solving the problem.  Josh Brolin is the pivot point…he runs a fictional movie studio who’s dealing with personal issues, trying to stop smoking, keep his contract actors on the up-and-up, stop the local gossip hounds from destroying careers, and  complete a biblical epic similar to The Robe/Quo Vadis/The Ten Commandments/Spartacus/and-or Ben Hur.  It’s so bad you’d think they put it together with a giant can of Cheez Whiz.  This is not to say that the entire movie was bad, there are some very bright spots.  For example:  Scarlett Johansson (a semi-reasonable facsimile of Esther Williams), Channing Tatum (tapping his way into the hearts of manly men in uniform everywhere), Ralph Fiennes (a director without an equal in delivering lines using the Queen’s English), Alden Ehrenreich (the singing stunt cowboy who is phenomenal on a horse with a rope, but not so much as a debonair man about town), and we get an ever-so brief glimpse of the divine Frances McDormand (Mrs. Joel Coen).  As always in a period piece by the Coen’s, attention to detail is extraordinary.  If nothing else, I would give this a big thumbs up for the set design, hair and make-up, and costume design.  Although I’ll probably see this once again when it’s out on DVD or streamed or something digital…I can’t recommend it until then, so it’s getting a 2-star salute to films in the forties.