Jurassic World

Oops, they did it again, only this time it's Disneyfied dinosaur sea world, with Rock'em Sock'em Raptors.  I believe this was predicted in the first episode of Jurassic Park.  Maybe the people attending this wonderful new concept in terror should have taken a cue from the first three films.  I'm sure somebody took notes, and would not have gone there had they realized how many things can go awry just by messing with dinosaur DNA.

Bryce Dallas Howard has the best hair and make-up people on the planet.  That, however, is not enough to save this film from disaster with a capital "D".  The special effects are probably some of the best you'll ever see and the fact that most of it lent itself to 3D visually is a plus.  I've never wanted a helicopter, ever, until now.  Beige platform heels; I've run in heels before, up-hill even, but this film has the character, Claire, walking and running in terrain that you wouldn't even stand in, unless you're wearing steel-toe hip waders.

The characters and the premise is just plain "make you jump scary".  Chris Pratt is establishing himself as the next generation action hero...he's funny, physical, and slightly left of center.  Please don't make him the next Batman or Spiderman.  I just can't wrap my head around that, more Guardians of the Galaxy, sil vous please. 

Five supporting actors that caught my attention were B.D. Wong (The Freshman), Vincent d'Onofrio (Men In Black), Irrfan Khan (The Namesake, Life Of Pi), Omar Sy (The Intouchables), and Jake Johnson (The New Girl).    Without them, there would be no Jurassic World and no need for this review, so kudos to them all for playing in no particular order good and evil.    

So, they're baaaack, rent the DVD, oh heck, if you're that much into it, buy it, but remember this line, always:  "Run!"   Rating:  2 1/2 Stars...and an E-ticket to Disneyland. 

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Has it really been 30 years since “The Return of the Jedi”?  Wow!  My, how time flies when you’re having fun.  In all honesty, I wish we could have forgone the “prequels” and just started up with this continuation; no Jar-Jar Binks, or crazy compatibility-free relationships.  We know Darth Vader is Luke and Leia’s real dad and so pointing out something that was already clear, just seemed a bit redundant, however, with this go, the questions continue right up to the last scene, as in “Where’s Luke?  Although everyone in the series is from a planet long ago and far away, this is a more “human” portrayal of the dark side than I think we’ve ever been exposed to in any of the first six episodes.  It reminded me, just a very tiny bit, of the Death Star Cafeteria by Eddie Izzard.  If you’re not familiar with this, it’s a conversation between a Cafeteria worker serving lunch to Lord Darth Vader.  Definitely worth a peek on YouTube or wherever you can get a listen.  So, in the infamous words of Diane Keaton in “Sleeper”, “rebels are we, steadfast and free”, but not if the dark side has anything to say about it.  The galaxy/universe is a big place, so why beings with magical mystical supernatural powers want to oppress others and not find a place where they can be happy and free and do their own thing without demanding others go with them, is totally beyond me.  It’s probably just me, but I think the strongest character is Rey, the “orphan”.  She’s had to kick-butt and take names for an awfully long time.  Follow her up with Finn, a recently defected Stormtrooper with a Han Solo attitude, a couple of new villains, a roly-poly droid, and some key members of the franchise and we’re off on a new adventure in that galaxy long ago and far away.  J.J. Abrams is at the helm under the wings of Disney and the transition, to say the very least, is brilliant.  Rating:  Pick a laser sword, any laser sword…blue, green, red, purple = 4 stars and may the Force be with you.

Hail Caesar

I was so looking forward to seeing this comedy by the Coen brothers and hoped, upon hope that this would be as good as something like O’ Brother Where for Art Thou?  Sadly, it was just “meh”.  The closest I could compare it to is Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid (a film I’ve yet to not fall asleep to, even in a theater—sorry Steve Martin…I just can’t keep my head up even though it was brilliantly edited with clips and actors from some of my favorite film noir classics).  I couldn’t really get past the bullet delivery and disjointed dialogue.  It’s sort of like waking up from a conk on the head similar to what the “hero”, although it’s hard to say who the “hero” really is here and understanding that he’s just screwed the pooch by becoming a part of the issue instead of solving the problem.  Josh Brolin is the pivot point…he runs a fictional movie studio who’s dealing with personal issues, trying to stop smoking, keep his contract actors on the up-and-up, stop the local gossip hounds from destroying careers, and  complete a biblical epic similar to The Robe/Quo Vadis/The Ten Commandments/Spartacus/and-or Ben Hur.  It’s so bad you’d think they put it together with a giant can of Cheez Whiz.  This is not to say that the entire movie was bad, there are some very bright spots.  For example:  Scarlett Johansson (a semi-reasonable facsimile of Esther Williams), Channing Tatum (tapping his way into the hearts of manly men in uniform everywhere), Ralph Fiennes (a director without an equal in delivering lines using the Queen’s English), Alden Ehrenreich (the singing stunt cowboy who is phenomenal on a horse with a rope, but not so much as a debonair man about town), and we get an ever-so brief glimpse of the divine Frances McDormand (Mrs. Joel Coen).  As always in a period piece by the Coen’s, attention to detail is extraordinary.  If nothing else, I would give this a big thumbs up for the set design, hair and make-up, and costume design.  Although I’ll probably see this once again when it’s out on DVD or streamed or something digital…I can’t recommend it until then, so it’s getting a 2-star salute to films in the forties.