Blasts From The Past

Since 1994, I have been writing and sharing my 2 cents about film. Included below are past reviews for your enjoyment.

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Many, many moons ago, in January during an ice storm in the little town of Oregon City, Oregon, I attended a film of such magnitude that every 10-23 year old girl who could look at a movie screen would practically break down in tears of heart-rending lust at the mention of Titanic and Leonardo diCaprio. That was then and this is now and I haven’t heard the same type of admiration for the main characters of this cinematic special effects wonder-fest. I have, however, stared in disbelief at how far advanced the movie industry has become during the time when I first wanted to own a hovercraft like Luke Skywalker and travel to another planet. Everything is sooooo beautiful and imaginative. James Cameron has created a science fiction classic that will make our hearts go on. It’s jaw-dropping is about the only way I can describe it and I didn’t see it in 3-D, but I did see it with the right crowd (over 21) and I’m ready to go on this E-ride again. You can be assured that when this is available to own, it will be a prized possession of my ever-burgeoning collection. Rating: 4 stars

This Is It!

No matter what you think of the late Mr. Jackson personally, his music and talent as a dancer, singer, and showman can’t be denied as anything less than phenomenal. The outfits he wears, the way his mouth and nose mimic that of the Joker in yet another version of Batman, none of that matters. This is a concert that you can watch again and again because once it would have hit Europe and started making the circuit, you and I (the little people) would never have been able to afford a ticket, nor have been able to see it (even if we were lucky enough to score a ticket –yeah, right, like I’m gonna win the Lottery, too) on anything less than a screen projecting what was on the stage anyway. It was fascinating, the music was familiar, but fresh and the show, spectacular. Great concert, great film. Rating: 3.8 stars

Julie & Julia

All my life I’ve been a “foodie”. From the time I could reach up in the pantry cupboards and oh, for heaven sake, bake something with my little aluminum bake sets (under the supervision of adults, of course, or my older sister – whichever comes first). Julia Child is Grande Dame of cooking. I have loads of cookbooks, Fanny Farmer Boston School of Cooking is my favorite, but I think I need to make a big switch to Ms. Child’s tome and soon. I also remember watching Julia on television (black and white, not high definition, by any stretch of the imagination) and really enjoying her style. I loved the way she spoke and looked like she could have been an aunt of mine. Anyway, I’m babbling. This is a film that for all intents and purposes is a masterpiece served up with the correct wine, a Niçoise salad, baby peas, real mashed potatoes, the perfect roasted chicken, and for dessert, something decadent and all with a modicum of butter to clog even the healthiest arteries. Together again and not, we have Meryl Streep (Julia) and Amy Adams (Julie) who take us through food wonderland, marriage, friendship, relationships with book editors and serve up a mouthwatering delight. Rating: 4 stars

Star Trek

Take a ‘60s television program with a cheesy set and a Canadian Achtor at the helm, bump up the special effects to make it really look like the future and what have you got…one heck of a start to a new series of films that boldly go where no one ever dreamed of going. Well, Gene Roddenberry did dream of it, but I don’t think even he imagined that his little story would make as big an impact on the science fiction community as it has, spawning movies, television series, toys, comics, graphic novels, and making icons out of William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelly, James Doohan, Nichelle Nichols, George Takei, and Walter Koenig (as the Chekov). What a difference 40 years can make. Yoiks! Has it been that long? This version, I thought, was going to be a sort of Starship Troopers Gone Wild, but oh boy, glad I was wrong. It’s a roller coaster ride in outer space and tons of fun. The new Kirk, Spock, Uhura, Bones, Sulu, Chekov, and Scotty --- phenomenally well played. I totally want to see the next one, I’m so excited and you will be, too. You have to see this on a big screen, forget 3-D, just see it big, trust me. Rating: 3.89 starships


Up↑

Up, up and away in my beautiful house balloon. Pixar has made a little masterpiece here in heart string tugging farklemptness. Carl and his lovely bride, Ellie, traverse the years saving up for that one great adventure which will take them to South America and “Paradise”. Unfortunately, the best laid plans can sometimes get pre-empted by life. There’s a saying that I like to quote, “Want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans.” When you’re in your late 70’s you don’t have time to waste and Carl’s not wasting any of it trying to fulfill a promise he made to his sweetheart instead of turning into a permanent fixture at the retirement home. He picks up strays faster than a feral cat gets fleas. In particular, Russell, an 8 year old kid from the neighborhood who’s biggest adventure, so far, as a wilderness explorer, is to camp-out in his apartment living room. Nothing will ever be the same for this roly-poly sweet tempered scout who’s in for the adventure of a lifetime as he attempts to get his Senior Citizen Assistance badge and he chooses the curmudgeon of all curmudgeon’s to assist, Carl. Peacock feather colors, action, adventure, danger, tenderness, strange animals, birds, and talking dogs and tons of funny quotable dialogue abound. You really won’t be sorry you looked, wait for it……UP. Rating: 4 stars

The Proposal

If you're in the same profession as I am, Administrative Professional aka Executive Secretary, you'll find this to be horrifying, highly improbable, and hilarious. I would go to great lengths to keep my boss in business, but not as far as the "hero", Andrew (Ryan Reynolds), does to keep his career on target and jump from Admin to Editor. His predicament: his boss, Margaret Tate (Sandra Bullock), is a very unlikeable successful book editor in New York. Drew's been her assistant for three very long years hoping to get his manuscript read and published, but that's not going to happen, because Margaret is being deported...to Canada. Having had personal experience with the process of immigration vs. "true love" and familiarity with a crime known as "harboring an illegal alien", I can assure you that the processes and penalities are very real, however, they handle everything with a firm tongue in cheek. Due to inflation, what was once a $25,000 fine and five years in a federal prison has added a "0" to the total. Ouch! In any case, it sucks and believe me, the lengths these two go to in order to dodge a deporation bullet are extreme. Betty White, Mary Steenburgen, and Craig T. Nelson, and a pricelss tirade by Aasif Mandvi, round out the cast and deliver just the right tone to this comedy of big boo-boos in the business world. May I see your passport please? Rating: 3.5 stars

Angels and Demons

Professor Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks)is back in Europe this time to save the Vatican and most of Rome from a cataclysmic explosion so they can pick a new Pope, since the current one has suffered an untimely demise. It’s follow the bouncing religious terrorist from gorgeous Roman landmark to landmark to find the missing bomb, save the four Pope candidates who have been kidnapped, and find out who’s behind this major mess and why. Elementary, my dear Pontiff, it’s the fifth element in the drawing room with a candlestick. Right? Survey sez, you’ll like this as much, if not more, than the DaVinci Code. Rating: 3.5 stars

The Hangover

When one of the characters in a film is written as pretty much a “moron”, I know that I’m going to be in for a couple of hours that I won’t be able to get back. Such is the case with The Hangover. This is a train wreck from just about the get-go. The premise is familiar, the results familiar and frankly, horrifying that anyone would be able to survive what these four incredibly idiotic candidates for the funny farm get away with because they’ve ingested drugs that they have no idea they’ve taken. If this is what we, as a society, have come to as thinking of as the crème de la crème of comedy…we’re in a world of hurt. Sorry, but didn’t like it, and I’ve been in some weird situations where some of this stuff wasn’t all that odd or even remotely funny. I’ll take Moe, Larry, Curly, and Shemp over these bozos any day. Rating: a missing man-purse with $80,000 dollars in it and a swift taser to the nads – this should have stayed in Vegas

Sherlock Holmes

Guy Ritchie’s films are visceral, gritty, and in this case, brilliantly cast and acted. I loved, loved, loved this film. Rachel McAdams is just peachy as Ms. Adler, Jude Law is luscious as Dr. Watson, and Robert Downey Jr. is brilliant as Sherlock. Not a big fan of the more staid, prim and proper, say wot, here, here, tut-tut my good man Holmes and Watson. I thoroughly enjoyed watching the process of deduction in this who-dunnit and got the feeling I was viewing something akin to the English version of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, except they’re on the other side of the law. Spot-on fun, witty and entertaining. Rating: 3.85 stars

Whip It!

No, this doesn’t refer to the song by 80’s Icons – Devo. It’s about the burgeoning resurgence of the sport that get’s guys blood boiling for a hot and heavy catfight—Roller Derby. Bodeen, Texas is a tiny town that is the world to Bliss Cavender (Ellen Page) until she can make her escape from high school, her mother’s obsession with pageants, and the local BBQ joint where she and her friend, Pash, waitress. Life is pretty much a dead-end until she goes to Austin and finds her new passion and alter ego, Babe Ruthless. This is Drew Barrymore’s directorial debut and for a freshman effort, not bad. It’s sprinkled with former costars (notably, Jimmy Fallon). This isn’t “Juno 2”, it drags a bit, here and there, but overall, worth the while to watch people who you wouldn’t think could even stand up on quad skates, much less be convincing as roller derby queens, do their stuff. Rating: 3 large and painful bruises, I mean stars

The Hurt Locker

Admittedly, I was a bit distracted when I watched this the first time, but I know that it took me to that dark place I don’t think I would like to go back to any time soon. I definitely wouldn’t want our hero’s job as point for the bomb squad in Baghdad. Watching the first five minutes got my adrenaline going and had me on the edge of my seat as with any horror film. Only difference between this and what you see in a fantasy film is that this is what these guys deal with every day of their tour for real. This is a full-blown kamikaze kick-ass cut the right wire suspense from the word go. The battle scenes are realistic…it’s what your sons and daughters are going through on a daily basis. I support our troops, but I also want them out of Iraq and Afghanistan. War hurts in so many ways. Rating: 2 Purple Hearts and a Silver Star

Inglourious Basterds

Different war, just as heinous…gentlemen of the Jewish persusion are on a mission to once and for all take care of the Fuhrer and in the process, get some much needed batting practice in. Only in this case, the balls are on the top of key German SS officer’s shoulders. The violence is in true Tarentino fashion. Hack and whack. The performances are worthy of the sons of Lee Marvin. Brad Pitt looks like he has a wad of chew in his cheek at all times and has gone back to “Fight Club” mode, only this time it’s WWII. He reminded this writer of Bazooka Joe from the bubblegum cartoons without the baseball cap. A glamourous German movie star and a girl growing up in the French countryside, who happens to run a theater with her black projectionist/lover, round out this motley crew. Tightly written, acted, and presented for your consideration. Best picture…nah, but it will get watched over and over again. Rating: 3.5 stars

Leap Year

Amy Adams is very, very pretty and so is Matthew Goode. Shallow is as shallow does and the story here is a bit throwaway. Successful girl who’s looking for perfect can’t seem to get her guy to commit (he’s just not that into you, honey), so she stalks him so she can propose to him on February 29th in, how convenient, Dublin, Ireland. So we have a woman who does the French Kiss/Romancing the Stone version of going to Ireland to get her man. We get to see a lot of beautiful Irish countryside and a very good looking pub owner who has to schlep her through said beautiful countryside. She hasn’t a clue how to pack and for everything she goes through to get the guy, she should have at least taken a pair of flats or walking shoes. Begorra, she’s not bright. Anyway, this is a rental, if that much. Rating: 2 Shillelaghs

Up In The Air

Corporate Downsizer and occasional motivational speaker (What's in your Backpack?--akin to What Color Is Your Parachute?), Ryan Bingham (George Clooney), travels, a lot. His job is not one envied by anyone who doesn't have the cajones to calmly enter into a transitional workplace and do the job that management doesn't want to deal with, namely, letting someone go or several someones go. Ryan lives in the sky, hotels, airports, and flits from company to company with barely a day spent at his extremely bare one bedroom in Omaha. How does the old saying go? Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill, every time. However, Mr. Bingham is not old, nor is his feminine counterpart, Alex (Vera Farmiga), who compare hotel, rental car, frequent flyer miles, credit cards, and executive club perks like they're swapping baseball cards. The banter between these two is genius. Enter Natalie (Anna Kendrick), a young upstart for the new technological era who has a brilliant idea and gets to tag along with Ryan (much to his chagin) to learn the ropes and try out her wings. Talk about generational mismatching and very rude awakening for the still wet behind the ears Ms. Natalie, and somewhat differently for Ryan. This is up for Best Picture, Actor, Actress, Supporting Actress and and deservedly so. I understand that they used "non-actors" to portray several of the people who are being "let go" which added a sort of melancholy sad realism to the story. Rating: 4 stars

A Serious Man

It’s 1968…the summer of love, but not so much for our hero(?), Larry. Larry is a physics professor whose life is like the sudden and impending storms that brew in the plains of the midwest. He’s been to the doctor and thinks he’s doing fine. He’s up for tenure and yet a colleague keeps stopping by his office and telling him not to worry, but…fill in the blanks. A student is trying to bribe him for a better grade. His kids have distanced themselves from him as much as is humanly possible, the son’s getting ready for his bar mitzvah (sortof) and the daughter is just plain frustrated to be living with such a bunch of yutzes. His brother is a gambling mensch (possible sexual deviant) who lives with his family and never leaves the bathroom unless it’s to get in trouble. Out of the blue, his wife approaches him about a divorce and says she wants to marry a widower who everyone describes as a serious man. For the life of me, he doesn’t seem like the sort of guy who would rock anybody’s world, actually, he’s sort of creepy. The neighbors are nutballs, one’s probably the head of the local white supremicists coalition and the woman next door is a pot-smoking bored housewife Playboy centerfold wannabe. If you don’t understand Yiddish, there’s a handy dandy guide at the end of the DVD extras, plus a very interesting bit of commentary by Joel and Ethan Coen about the film with character/actor interviews that helps immensely with the understanding of this film. Poor schmuck. Rating: 3.5 Stars of David

The Blind Side

If you don’t understand football or really give a rip about the plays, the moves or the prospect of getting a young boy (17) into college sports on a full scholarship, then this film will not be your cup of everclear. The family is squeaky Republican, the boy is homeless, big, and very much a part of a culture that’s as foreign to the Tuohys as the people who work in their 85 fast food restaurants. In the vernacular of the streets---they be rich.

The matriarch is Leigh Ann Tuohy (Bullock) who gets yanked out of her country club existence when her overly precocious son, SJ, befriends Mike Oher. Mike has been accepted into her children’s private school based on his potential as a sports ringer under the guise of “it’s the Christian thing to do”. He has a very rough upbringing, doesn’t seem to have a high I.Q. and he sticks out like a piece of coal on a blanket of snow.

It’s all nice and good and noble and true and I guess I’m just a little too cynical to take this as best picture when so much more out there was deserving and ignored. I guess it’s like watching a very well put together movie biography of the week for me. I could have just as easily watched this on television and not spent 10 dollars at the theater. Rating: 3 stars

Nine

Guido Contini is a ladies’ man. He can’t help it, he's Italian and one of the most highly revered directors of Italian Cinema, ever. His influences are his mother (Loren), his wife (Cotillard), his mistress (Cruz), his muse (Kidman), the hooker (Fergie), his agent (Dench), and an American fashion journalist (Hudson), all women who have, want, need a part of Guido, or is it the other way around. The title doesn’t refer to the number of women, it’s about his work…he’s made 8 films (really 8 ½ because he co-directed one—see the films of Fredrico Fellini), and he’s on the hook for the ninth, which surely will be a charm because his last two have flopped. Problem…he has no script for this film and the ideas aren’t coming in carloads this time. Poor Guido…he’s in a pickle…he’s got to get away and get it together or he loses a lot more than he probably bargained for. Rob Marshall is at the helm again as he was for Chicago, with actors who sing and dance and who knew they could as well as they do. Most surprising, Daniel Day-Lewis as Guido. You could have knocked me over with a feather when he starts singing…not bad, not bad at all and he looks really good in black Raybans driving in a Italian sports car, very 60’s slick. The songs, the production numbers, and the delivery by this wonderful troupe, divine. It’s cappuccino with biscotti and go-go boots. It’s colorful and rich and totally shot in black in white…Mr. Marshall, you’re a genius. Rating: 3.5 stars

District 9

So yesterday, my friend and I tackled a film that I really couldn’t get my head around as to why this was being considered a Best Picture contender. The key to all situations of this nature, I am truly convinced, is to make it into a drinking game, i.e., every time someone says the magic word (in this case “Vinkus”), you take a sip. By the end of this sci-fi/mockumentary social commentary on apartheid and getting the bad out of the neighborhood…you’re rooting for Vinkus and the aliens. I really think I could have lived without seeing some of the more graphic cow butchering processes, but all in all, not really what I expected after sitting through the first fifteen minutes of the set-up and getting to know, ready, set…Vinkus. Peter Jackson has used big-eyed creatures, yet again, however, these are not cuddly furry-footed hobbits. They’re sort of a cross between predator/aliens with scorpion overtones. E.T. go home, God-willing, or find a friendlier planet, humans are really stupid. Rating: 3.83 stars and a can of cat food. Edit Text

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

Even though I don’t have a clue why they do this, I love watching films from India that include the big splashy dance numbers. This one doesn’t happen until the credits start rolling so you have to pay attention to the entire film before you get to the pistachio in your rice pudding. Jamal, Samir, and Latika have what you’d have to admit is really a “hard knock” life. If these three were on “Survivor Mumbai”, they’d win, hands down. It’s a daily struggle just to stay alive, much less make it onto a television show and possibly win 20 million Rupees, which is where Jamal finds himself. Does he cheat, is he a genius, is it a fluke, or is it written that he makes it as far as he does in this competition for an unimaginable life of a person who’s known as a “Slumdog” because of where he grew up? If you’re not familiar with abject poverty, you’re in for an eye-opening experience. Great film, great performances by the adults and especially their counterparts as kids from the streets of Mumbai. Don’t miss it. Rating: 4 stars

THE DARK KNIGHT

Some of you may recall how much this writer felt opposed to the idea of going backwards in the Batman Franchise. Redoing the story and the character of the Joker seems ludicrous. In this instance, Bruce Wayne (aka Batman) is less likeable and the Joker has given new meaning to Insane Clown Posse. Heath Ledger's almost final role is like watching a sociopath run amuck with knives, bombs, and guns on manic autopilot. There are no redeeming qualities to this character, none, zip, nada....never washes his hair, couldn't put lipstick on in the dark if he tried, and don't make me go there with the lack of fashion sense, although everyone knows that the Joker is partial to purple and green, ew. Everyone, it seems, has a huge chip on their shoulders...the love interests don't seem to be "in love" just getting back each other for some slight we're not really sure of that sets a whole emotional domino set into motion. Dark Knight is an understatement, less cartoony than past films about the Batman. Very stylistic - almost seems black and white with splashes of grotesque clown red. Rating: 2.5 stars

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL

Trying to make it to a film over the holidays has been a major undertaking…you could say my world came to a stand still with all of the snow that dumped on the area. It’s finally subsided for now, not completely gone, but thankfully, trips to the store aren’t 2 hour events involving snow shoes. Unfortunately, The Day The Earth Stood Still was about as exciting as my short diatribe above about the snow. Jennifer Connelly, Keanu Reeves, Kathy Bates, Jon Hamm and Jaden Smith and a large metallic one-eyed, one-horned flying purple people eater (just kidding)---GORT the cycloptic destructor are all on hand to witness the end of the world as we know it. I have the original and for the life of me, why someone wanted to remake this snorefest into a much bigger snorefest with explosions and CGI is beyond me. Save your cash, rent or buy the original (my God it has Patricia Neal in it – she’s won an Oscar, too) and do a back-to-back comparison…naps are good for you. Rating: 1.5 stars

WALL-E

Once upon a time, there was a planet and it was called Earth. Nice place to live, but the people populating it were messy and wasteful. Because they overpackaged and didn’t take care of Earth until it was too late, they were forced into an “evicted” state while robots increasingly took over the functions of the humans. Once of these functions has to do with the last Wall-e unit who’s basically a trash compactor with a personality. Hence, why we’re engaged in the process of watching Wall-e save the Earth. Pixar has a way of making the underdog very endearing and Wall-e is no exception. He has a sidekick (cockroach) and a possible girlfriend, Eve, who , if he’s not careful, could blow him to pieces with a flick of the wrist (if she had a wrist). Anyway, it’s an environmental futuristic fairytale that, if we humans don’t blow ourselves to bits first, could become much more than just a thought or a cute little Disney/Pixar fantasy. Rating: 3.8 stars

IRON MAN

So, they never played the song by Black Sabbath, but this film does kick some serious booty. I am so buying the deluxe version when it’s available on DVD and you can’t stop me. Loved this all the way through and I’m not a comic book fanatic, but this I could get into. Robert Downey Jr. is great as Tony Stark. He’s got the chops to play this over-the-top genius superhero without superhuman abilities. It just goes to show you what a little bit of open heart surgery can do to get a guy motivated to keep the world safe from the bad guys, especially when you started out as one of them in the first place. Rock’em Sock’em Robots on Steroids. Yee Haw, I can’t wait to see it again and the sequel(s). Rating: 4 stars

FROST/NIXON
I could almost imagine a boxing ringmaster coming up to the hanging microphone and announcing the battle of the century. “In this corner, weighing in with the wit and impartiality of the British Empire - Television Host of World Renown: David Frost (Michael Sheen). In this corner, the destroyer of American confidence and the first and only President of these United States of America to resign from the office: Richard Millhouse Nixon (Frank Langella).” The year is 1977 and the wheeling and dealing to get an outright apology to the American people from Tricky Dicky is looming large. Folks, those of you who remember these interviews, probably have to think back hard to remember how much this was like a mongoose and a cobra, where the mongoose looked like it’s goose was cooked right out of the shoot. Not so fast, because when all was said and done, it was a complete and utter win for the British and ultimately, the Americans. Every time I think of Iraq and civil war and dirty politics, I’ll think back to Nixon, Vietnam (you may recall we didn’t win there, either), and Watergate. Mr. Nixon was a lawyer which translates to vulture with removal wingtips. See this film and remember…those who don’t remember history are doomed to repeat it. Let’s not and say we didn’t. Rating: 3.8 stars


THE CHANGLING

This is a horror sorry of the first degree. Set in the late 20’s in Los Angeles, it’s the recounting of the search for Christine Collin’s son, Walter. Walter disappears from their home in May of 1928 and is replaced five months later with a boy who generally looks like him, but isn’t. Christine has to deal with crooked police, graft and corruption, being locked up in an asylum, with no one to believe her or having the ability to get her out of this living hell and reunite her with her son. Angelina Jolie is Christine and with the amount of children she has, I’m sure that this story hits very close to home and is probably the catalyst for her riveting performance. The loss of a child, no matter where, when or how is devastating. The very fact that this is a true story is one of those cases that may have changed history forever. This is beautifully filmed, acted and strikes a note of tenderness juxtaposed with pure and utter hate for those who would bring harm to children. Rating: 4 stars

INDIANA JONES AND THE CRYSTAL SKULL

This was my guilty pleasure of the year. Although it’s not the best of the Indiana Jones films, it reunites Marion and Indy and ties up some loose ends that made sense from nonsense. A wild ride is had by all and Shia LeBouf is gearing up to take over where the “old man” has left off. Cate Blanchett chews up scenery and is a nasty comrade in arms during the bitterly cold war of the 50’s. Harrison Ford shows us he’s still got it, although he probably is ready to take on the Sean Connery role soon. I had a déjà vu moment there or two, but surprisingly, it was sort of like watching a live action version of a very popular film of the 80’s that also included a crystal and was a cinematic wonder of it’s time, The Dark Crystal. No elves or Muppets, but just as mysterious and fantasy laden. Rating: 2.80 stars

HELLBOY-II and THE GOLDEN ARMY

Big Red is back and just as bad to the bone or horn, as ever. Fulfilling his destiny is number one on his list of things to do today. He’s having some problems communicating with his old flame (Liz) and they’re both off on a new adventure dealing with creepy ginormously ugly and angry creatures from the “other side” (in this case…fairies, sprites, trolls, elves, nasty flesh eating pixies, the norm). So sit back, relax, and get ready to rock and roll. Guillermo del Toro is the master when it comes to images you can’t get out of your head once you’ve seen them, so hopefully, you’ll be able to sleep without heavy-duty freakishly weird dreams. Nighty-night, don’t let the bed-bugs bite, and if you lose a tooth, for heavens sake, don’t put it under your pillow. Rating: 3.99 stars

KUNG FU PANDA

Jack Black has finally found a medium of entertainment that doesn’t make you want to reach into the screen and throttle his character. There are a couple of other actors who fall into this category, but this is about him and the absolutely wonderful job he does as the hopelessly devoted Furious Five Fan and Noodle Vendor’s son (Peking Duck—maybe he’s adopted, yah think?). Anyway, kudos to the writers, animators, and voice actors who bring this tale of the improbable to life. I, for one, didn’t think it would be anything more than a throwaway animated film that would keep the kids amused. So glad I was mistaken. It’s definitely tops on my list of favorite films from last year. Skadoosh! Rating: 4 stars

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON

Brad Pitt, bless his little pea-pickin’ heart, has done his very best with what he’s been presented. In this curious case, they’ve handed him a script and embellished the bejesus out of it, added characters, changing names and situations so that about the only similarity to the short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald is the fact that he’s Benjamin Button and he ages backward. Technically, this is a special effect’s/make-up artist’s dream. Performances are borderline folksy, but then again, it’s in the deep South. This is a lengthy film, beautifully shot, but so was Forest, Forest Gump, and has a similar feel to it with a creepier “matter of factness” in the dialogue and delivery of the lines. Some moments of brilliance, but not enough to garner a best picture award. Rating: 2.7 stars

ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO

Best friends since the 2nd grade, Zack and Miri complete each other…they share an apartment, a beater car, and a very funky sense of humor. Responsibility isn’t high on either’s “to do” list, so the bills get differed and guess what?—no electricity, no water, they’re supposed to go to their 10 year High School Reunion and it’s the day before Thanksgiving in Pittsburgh. Miri’s just been humiliated beyond belief and Zack, being the anti-prince charming type comes up with an idea involving a coffee shop co-worker and Miri to make a wham-bam-thank-you ma’am adult film to get them out of their monetary pickle. The logic used to convince Miri to do this is strictly from a man’s perspective.

Kevin Smith (Chasing Amy, Clerks I & II, Mall Rats, Dogma, just to name a few) is back at it again as writer/producer/director of this gross-out fest. Slightly left of center with dialogue that would make someone with tourette’s blush, there’s graphic scat humor a very funny “name the porno” bit, Porno Stars, naked pole dancers, and Jay (of Jay & Silent Bob) has finally cut his hair. Not for the kiddies, in fact, if you’re in the least bit uncomfortable with nudity, potty-mouth, simulated sex of any kind, this isn’t the film for you. If you’re like me, and you’ve lived in San Francisco and seen it all and aren’t really fazed by the things that people will do in desperation and really want to laugh, then here you go. Elizabeth Banks and Seth Rogen, although they don’t seem like a likely couple, are really more like “Mr. and Ms. America” than most people would believe, the delivery of their lines is absolutely spot on and they have one of the most believable love scenes you’ll ever witness. Rating: 3 stars

PUSH

Pushy people irk most of the people they’re pushing. In this case, pushing the wrong person’s buttons could be deadly. Take a mish-mash of superhero character actors, give them funky super abilities, and somebody please explain to me what the writer of this mildly amusing mucked-up mess was thinking. Dakota Fanning is in her teen stage of over-exposure. She sort of looks a teeny-tiny bit like Johnny (Senor Wences’s hand puppet, for those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about). It could be the hair, her stylist is probably not much older than she is. This isn’t a really crappy martial arts sci-fi end of the world film, and it does have some great shots of Hong Kong and few surprises, but overall, it’s, at best, a C+ on the complete the what were you thinking scale. Rating: 2 stars

DOUBT

If I had been raised Catholic and had the opportunity to attend Father Flynn's mass, I'd have been more than happy to endure the harshness of Sister Aloysius Beauvier’s reign of terror during the early 1960's. The good sister is an extreme bully, one who may have suffered the abusiveness she so readily dishes out at the drop of a hat. She mentally thwacks her flock and, no doubt, would use physical abuse if she felt it would strengthen her position in the eyes of the accused. There's a trick in spelling we use that I'm sure you may have heard, "how do you spell assume? It makes an ass out of u and me". Sister Aloysius should definitely have remembered that saying. Father Flynn, however, would have gotten an A+ in my class. Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams, if you could make her a "Dame" in this country--Meryl Streep, and Viola Davis, as young Donald Miller's most unfortunate mother, all deserved the awards and accolades they received in mass for their work. Rating: 4 stars and a slap on the back of your grubby little hands (ouch!)

MILK

It’s this writer’s opinion that Sean Penn has had a bit of Harvey Milk’s DNA injected. He’s nothing short of the antithesis of Harvey, God rest his soul. Josh Brolin, as Dan White, is also deserving of the honors he’s received, adding just the right amounts of un-comfort when in the presence of a free-loving spirit and political peer. The fact that he committed suicide years after he coldly planned and carried out the murders of May Moscone and Superintendent Milk, probably made more than a few people in the GLBT community breath a sigh of relief, but it doesn’t change a system that’s not working, cure AIDs, or completely wipe out prejudice. Would that it could have, but it did make a lot of people wake up and recognize that everyone has a right to their pursuit of happiness, freedom, equality, regardless. God bless you Harvey for everything you did to make the world a better place for everyone. Thank you Gus Van Sant for bringing this bit of history to life. I have to say that I couldn’t have been more touched. I usually don’t cry at movies, especially when I know the outcome, but this one had me balling like a baby. Rating: 4 stars

GONZO - The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

No matter how you feel personally about the late Dr. Hunter s. Thompson, there is no argument that can be made in regard to the colorful way he lived his life. The man had a stranglehold on his pursuit of happiness. Yes, he did do massive quantities of every substance known to cause an altered state of reality. He probably pickled every vital organ in his body, but his use of the English language and the articles and books that were produced, were nothing short of cosmically inspired. This is not a remake of "Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas" or "Where the Buffalo Roam", where Hunter and Laszlo, his 300 lb. Samoan lawyer are caricatured by Messer's Depp and Murray. This is the real deal and a great documentary chronicling his rise and fall from the spotlight and rock star writer status to his ashes being shot out of a cannon in a ceremony that would rival a head of state's funeral. I'm guessing he would have loved this documentary and especially the music. Had he stuck around for the full eight years of George W's presidency, there may have been an assignation attempt on both Bush and Cheney. God love you Hunter, no matter where are you are man. Rating: 4 stars and a two thumbed fist salute.

PAN’S LABRYNTH

More darkness prevails here as with most of the films up for Oscar this year. Even in the daylight, darkness is plentiful and disturbing. The year is 1944, Spain. Ofelia and her pregnant mother are traveling to be with her stepfather, a Capitan in Franco's Fascist army. Her real father had been a tailor and, in fact, made the Capitan's uniforms while he was alive. We're not privy to why her father is dead, but you get the distinct feeling that the Capitan had a lot to do with his demise. Two of my favorite foreign film actors, Sergio Lopez (Dirty Pretty Things) and Maribel Verdu (Y'tu Mama Tambein), are on hand to pull us from light to dark and back again, although, I don't really think you could say this is a "happily ever after" story. The fantasy interludes are practically pitch black in tone. Scenes of graphic violence are prevalent. This little girl is living a nightmare and I don't think there is a way anyone watching this film could say that they aren't affected by the sadness of the situation. I'm sure there are incidences similar to this taking place in the world as I write this review and it sickens me that people feel life for others is just meant to be a matter of obedience and nothing else. This is at once poetic and horrifying. I admire Guillermo del Toro's style of film making and I think this will take a huge amount of the golden statues on Sunday. If you're looking for something you can take the kids to, this isn't it. In fact, it's not something you'd want to take an adult to, especially if they're pregnant, want to be pregnant, just got through having a child or are the slightest bit squeamish about bugs and torture. Very well done, but really, think about what you want to have stuck in your head for a very long time. Rating: 3.80 stars